Under pressure

So for the past two weeks I have been attempting to get my sleep schedule in order. That was thrown out the window this past weekend when a family party lasted until 3:00 a.m., and, under pressure from even my own parents not to be a "killjoy" at my own birthday party, stayed up much later than I would have liked. Other mishaps happened by virtue of poor planning; after going to the auto show with my cousin and his wife, we caught dinner uncharictaristically late in Mexicantown and did not get home until about Midnight. Had foodage been consumed earlier (as we did not realize you could not actually eat messy food near the shiny new cars) perhaps bedtime would have come sooner.

The fact that I even consider staying up late on the weekends a problem is a great shift from where my life was even five years ago - in college and frequenting social engagements with my sorority sisters every other weekend, staying up til 3:00 a.m. was the norm, not the exception, and all-night parties until literally 9 a.m. were events glorified and discussed for weeks after. Now, I am steady in my career and attempting to improve my overall health, while my brothers have hit their young adult party stride and my parents seem to be re-discovering their ability to stay up late without worrying about waking up the kids. I seem to be stuck in a worn-out purgatory; my previous multiple year stint as a fraternity girlfriend obligated me to go to more parties than I would ever go to on my own, and not being a natural party girl I am pretty much worn out. It's really just not my thing.

The events of this past weekend, while fun, do illustrate that peer pressure can throw off good intentions in starting a new habit (or averting bad habits). I was pressured into staying up late, pressured by time constraints into eating later, pressured basically into going to bed much later than I'd like. For a night owl like myself, I have a difficult enough time going to bed early - now, I am more acutely aware that it's my inability to say 'no' (whether it is to friends and family, or simply that good book or TV show) that is also a part of my sleeping problem. Societal expectations and the inability to convince friends and family not to take it personally makes it difficult to put one's own health and good habits before the demands of others. Perhaps one of my new habits for this year should be developing the "no" ability.

That said, this upcoming week is the last week for my push for good sleep, and the realization I've come to today is that no amount of gadgets, tips, and tricks can substitute for good personal discipline - the ability to say no to others and yes to yourself over objections and societal pressures.

This will give me something to mull over for the last week of my attempt at better and more regular sleep. Perhaps I can ponder these issues as I begin the second habit of 2010 - regular meditation, 3 times a week.